short story

The shadow on the water

The wind blows at the rear my neck. Suddenly I feel eerie. I think that maybe there is a ghost just have passed behind me. But, I realize that it just the wind. Some branches swing, and there is no voice except the voice of my heartbeat. I am sitting on a bench now. I’m alone, just some stuff that accompany me. Novels, Oxford dictionary, a notebook, and a pencil box, they are enough to make the bench full. I look around the park. There is no one, only me. Nevertheless, I do not really care about it. Even, it is better for me that there is nobody who will see what I am doing.

            I am holding one of two novels that I brought from home. I open it at random. I am trying to read it. However, I cannot. I just act like reading a book, but in fact, what is on the book cannot be accepted by my mind. I am just pretending to read the book to make me stay cool. I am nervous. Time is running as well. Nevertheless, I feel that the time is running so slowly. I see my watch on my hand. I do not realize that every 3 minutes I see the time.

            5 minutes liter it will be 4.pm. My heart beats fast. When the second goes to minute, my heartbeat is fast and fast. I am very nervous. I am standing and take a deep breath to escape my nervousness.  Good! It works. Once again, I take a breath; I close my eyes and start to feel the fresh air. Then, once again, the wind blows behind my neck.

            I take a seat. I try to keep staying cool. I am pretending busy with my novel on my hand again. My mind is on other place. However, I am still nervous. I hate it; I hate to wait.  I am waiting now. I am waiting for someone.

            ***

 Two month ago

            I really did not understand how God could do this to me. God took my beloved people around me. Yesterday, I had just seen my dead body of my father buried in the grave. Dad was the one that could understand me; I knew that Dad died also because of me. Dad was suffering in cancer, but he did not talk his illness to anyone. He just wanted to feel his illness alone without bothering others, even me as his daughter. I knew that Dad didn’t try to have serious treatment for his illness, because we didn’t have enough money for that. Dad preferred to spend his money for me, for my education. That is the reason why I always feel guilty and blame myself.

            Then three days after my father death, my best friend passed away because of an accident. She is the only friend that I have. I mean that, she was really my best friend, and I never had a close relation like my relation with her. I felt suffer from a loss. I felt that I was alone; I was lonely.

             Then, I felt that there was no one that could change my father and my best friend’s place in my heart. There was no, I began to close my social and became aloof people. I decided to drop out from college, because I did not want to meet people. But I remembered that I had ever promise to my Dad that I would be a Master of Art. So, I realized that I could not be like that. Then I decided to hang in there.

***

One month ago…

I never talked to people except for academic reasons. It was enough to make my friends in college felt that I was odd people and kept away from me. I did not care about it. I felt glad to be alone. I thought that I just had one friend, and she had died. I enjoyed my life, and I did not need others people. I have a corner of my campus, which is my favorite place. Yeah, it is one of corner of the library. I can be alone there; it is calm and silent. I like it. Moreover, the important thing that I can be apart from people that always want to know my business.

Now, I was in my favorite place. Now my best friend was my laptop, it is named “Mary”. I talked with Mary; I spent my time with Mary.  I have some friends in illusion world that recently I was close to him. I did not really know about the people, but I felt that I felt confidence talked with him. Therefore, every day I did chatting to him. Like now, I was waiting his name appeared in my online friend’s list. I never started the conversation, so I waited him to say hi first. Then, his name appeared.

Cheery man: Hi…J

I didn’t why but I felt glad when I talked to him.

Bad aloof girl: Hi…JJ

Cheery man: How are you..?

Bad aloof girl: I’m fine…How about you Mr. Mysterious?

Cheery man: Great. Let me guess.. You are happy now..:D

Bad aloof girl: -____-

Cheery man: :D what does it mean…So you are happy, aren’t you? J

Bad aloof girl: Happy is a word that loss from my dictionary.

Cheery man: Hohoho….I’m sorry…Why? J

Bad aloof girl: Actually, you don’t have a business about my life

Cheery man: Wow….the bad aloof girl is getting angry now…I’m afraid…L

Bad aloof girl: is offline.

I closed the conversation, because I did not like people that butt in my life.

***

One night…After the uncomfortable conversation, I met him again, in illusion world. 

Cheery man: Hi…JJ

Bad aloof girl:……………….

Cheery man: What? Miss me?

Bad aloof girl: No

Cheery man: You miss your father?

Bad aloof girl: Hmm….what do you know about my father?

Cheery man: Of course I know… J

Bad aloof girl: How?

Cheery man: I know…J I know you miss him so much…

Bad aloof girl: How come? You didn’t know me…

Cheery man: I know more than you know; Also your best friend, you miss her too

Bad aloof girl: Impossible

Cheery man: But I KNOW YOU SO WELL GIRL…J They are not happy due to you…girl

Bad aloof girl: Who are you?

Cheery man: J…you know me…who I AM

Cheery man is offline.

Actually, I thought more about the man that I always had a chat with him. And I felt so confused. There were two reasons; first, I did not know him, but how come he knew me? I never told about my life to him. Second, why did I keep talking to a stranger? Then I decided to end this freak relation. I shut down my laptop, and I got to sleep.

“Daaaaaad…!” I called my father who was far away from me. But suddenly Dad walked to where I stood. However, he came with sad face.

“Dad?”

Dad just kept silent, and then he hugged me. He stroked my hair slowly.

“Dad…I miss you. Take me with you. I’m alone in home.”

There was no respond from Dad; he kept silent.

“Dad…?” then I looked at his face. Dad’s face looked unpleasant.” Dad…I’m afraid.”

“Don’t be afraid… I’m still alive in your heart.”

“Dad…Why do you look sad?”

“I am sad when my daughter sad.”

“So your sadness because of me, Dad?”

Dad just smiled, than My Dad disembarrassed me, and he went away. I arrived on the other place.

It was so weird. Suddenly, I saw my best friend laid down on the ground. Then I asked her why she did not lay on the bed. It was more comfortable lying on the bed than on the ground. Then she said,” I am doing demonstration.”

“Demonstration? What for?” I asked confusedly.

“I am doing that for you.” She said.

“Hmm….I still does not understand.”

“I ask to God to make you happy, but I see that you are still sad because of loss”

“But, you do not need to torture yourself because of me, friend. Please, get up and move to bed now.” I beg to her.  Nevertheless, she kept lying on the ground.

Then the dazzled blast came and made me could not see anything.

I opened my eyes; I looked around, and I knew that I was home, in my room. It was just dream. I got up and turned on my laptop. I was online. As I guessed, Cheery man was online.

Bad aloof girl: Who are you?

Cheery man: I am close with you..

Bad aloof girl: How do you know me details?

Cheery man: Hmm…no…I just guess. J

Bad aloof girl: You lie

Cheery man: I did J

Bad aloof girl: ?????

Cheery man: I just wanna open your eyes, life is too precious, please don’t break it

Bad aloof girl: I do not do that. I do not disturb anyone.

Cheery man: You are foul girl. You break many people’s heart who wanna be your friend

Bad aloof girl: I didn’t mean that

Cheery man: And you did a big sin too..

Bad aloof girl: What is it?

Cheery man: You stop smiling to others. Just that..it is so simple right?

Then he was offline. It was the last time; I had chatting with him. After that, I thought more about the dream also I thought the cheery man said. I thought about myself tonight until I did not close my eyes again till the sun rose.

***

The cheery man is still mystery for me. He rose me up. I do not know he really is. He came and went in sudden. But, I try to be happy again. I try to open myself to others. I try to be nice people. At least, I have tried to do so. Because I hope, both my father and my best friend will rest in peace in the heaven.

A week ago, I got an email in named the cherry man. He said that he wanted to meet me. I do not know why, it is so weird, I am glad to know that. So now, that is the reason why I am waiting. I am waiting for him, the cheery man.

Now, it is four pm. He will come. Once again, I take my breath so deep. I have to stay cool. I look my watch. I see to the street, it is empty. There is no sign of people coming. It is still silent and calm.

The wind blows swinging the branches on the tress. The falling leaves move slowly because of the wind. I think that the wind so weird. The wind blows to one direction, and it blows to east. The wind becomes a windy. It makes my hair untidy. The wind seems make my body to move. I walk where the wind blows, to the east. It guides me to go to the pool that exists in the park. Then, the wind stops after I am in front of the pool. I see myself on the water. I look around; there is nobody here except me. On the edge of the pool, there is a sentence. The Cherry man.

“The cherry man?” I ask to myself. Then I see on the water in the pool. I see myself. It is me my self.

I think I understand. The happiness, the spirit, and the smile, come from me. I can be happy because of me myself. I do not need to wait others to cheer me up. I think I understand.

Created by Ayufi

Ambarawa-semarang